Friday, May 25, 2012

The "I-might-be-slightly-tipsy" 5 Things Friday!

Well.  It's Five Things Friday.  I am fully aware that I've missed the last two Fridays.  But WHATEVER.  This is my blog, I can do whatever I want.

(I've just gotten home from a fundraising dinner we went to for our local Junior B Lacrosse team.  We had a good time, and I had a few frosty beverages.  So if this post makes no sense, please forgive me, just go ahead and blame the beer.)

Sister Wives has returned to TLC for a third season.  There are no words to describe how much I love this show.  If you aren't aware, the show revolves around the Brown family, from Las Vegas, which consists of Kody, his four wives Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn, and their shitload of kids (like 19, I think???)  This show fascinates me on a whole bunch of different levels.  I am not a religious person, and admittedly, I find religion beyond fascinating (I've always said that if I were smarter, I would have majored in Religious Studies.  You know, if I went to University.  And, if that is even a thing.  I don't actually know if it is.  But it should be.  So smart people could study it.  Right??)

OK.  Moving on.  So the main reason this family chooses to live a polygamous lifestyle, from what I understand, is that they believe they will be better accepted into heaven because of it.  And you know what?  Good on 'em.  If that's what you believe, and you're dealing with nothing but consenting, mentally-sound adults, then fly at it.  How you live your life, and for what reasons, is not my business so long as children are not involved in adult situations, and so long as everyone involved is happy with and agrees with the situation.  Before you get all up in my shit, yes, I do realize polygamy is illegal, and of course I do understand the reasons why, but I also think in this day and age, there are so many different types of families out there that I find it hard to believe that one way is any better than any other.  Does that make sense?  Happy adults typically means happy kids, regardless of what the family looks like.

And here's the thing:  every time I watch the show, I can't help but think - man - this shit is BRILLIANT!  So, here are five reasons why I sometimes think having sister wives is a freaking fantastic idea:

1) Kids.  Whenever I need a break from my kids (like today, for example, when my son smacked me super-hard, square in the face, with a hard and spikey rubber ball), I would just be like "Hey, Sister Wife.  Come take these little darlings off my hands for a few hours before I lose my goddamn mind."

2) Sex.  Sometimes, I don't want to.  Sometimes, it would be nice to just lay there and read my book with a face full of zit cream and my dirty old pajamas that neither fit,  nor match.  Doing this would be super easy, and guilt-free, when it was my Sister Wife's turn for a sleepover!

3) Complaining.  When my husband did something really stupid, like leave the garage door wide open and the house unlocked when NOBODY WAS HOME (true story, it happened, don't get me started, he is totally lucky I didn't wind up murdered and left in a bathtub), I could complain to my Sister Wife.  She'd understand; you know, because he did the same thing to her last week.

4) Constant girlfriend companions.  OK, as long as I could get past the fact that we're all sleeping with the same dude, I'd always have a shopping partner, someone to do lunch with, have a beer with, gossip with, etc...all built right in!!!

5) Getting old.  19 kids, and SOMEONE is bound to take care of me when I'm 100!  Right?  Out of the 19, at least a few of them will be useful in my old age!

I hope this doesn't sound like a Craigslist ad for a Sister Wife.  I totally don't actually want one.  But sometimes...watching this show...your mind just GOES THERE!

Next episode - Sunday night!


  1. I am soooo watching this show; I appreciate you're perspective! Lol!

  2. 2 topics for you....first, I also love Sister Wives and have actually thought Kody was kind of hot. Having a sister wife would make my life so much easier right now helping with the upkeep of trying to sell this piece of shit. (Are we allowed to swear on your blog?) Second, the books you discussed in a previous blog. Are these something I should/could read while alone? I need something to keep me occupied other than housework, what do you think? I don't understand the publish part of this blog, that's why I'm anonymous (Karmoore)

  3. First, yes, of course you are allowed to swear on my blog. Let's clarify that right away. :) You are not the first person who has told me they think Kody is hot!! Ha ha. As for 50 Shades...I'd say, do so at your own risk!! I haven't read them but apparently they are ALL KINDS of dirty!!