Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Food fights.

My kids don't eat.

They never have.

AJ exists on chocolate, cheese, yogurt tubes, and jam sandwiches (on white bread ONLY, don't even TRY to get that whole-wheat shit past him, you will not win).  Mackenzie's a little better than that, but not much.  Both kids would rather starve to death than eat a vegetable, and fruit is limited to sliced apples, and if I really fight it, half a banana.  How on earth they've made it this far without getting scurvy is truly shocking.  And to all of you not-yet-mommas out there who say things like "oh, when I have children, they will eat what I give them, I will not make two meals, they will eat their vegetables, blah blah blah..." I have THIS to say to you:  No, they will NOT eat what you give them.  Yes, you WILL make two meals.  And no, they WON'T eat their vegetables, at least not without a bit of a fight.  But, hey - good luck with your plan.  Let me know how it works out for you.

I've been making two meals for dinner for, oh, probably five years now.  Regular dinner for Shawn and me; cheese, sandwiches, yogurt, or cereal for the darlings.  It's just the way it is.  And since Shawn and I love eating more than most people I know, I feel quite certain that both kids will grow out of this, so it really isn't something I could be bothered to fight them on at this point.  They'll come around.  How many days (years?) in a row can a kid eat a jam sandwich, before he gets bored and realizes all the deliciousness out there that he's been missing out on?

So, all this in mind, I don't pack much in their school lunches.  Every single day, half of it (or more) ends up coming home, and as long as I'm not in one of my "oh-my-God-I-am-effing-starving-is-that-food-OMG-give-it-to-me-RIGHT-NOW" moods, it goes in the garbage.  I recently set the rule that whatever they don't eat at school, they have to eat when they get home - and since then, a few more apple slices have disappeared, but I'd bet my last buck they've figured out to toss them in the garbage and pretend they ate them.

Yesterday, Mackenzie informed me that she ate her entire lunch at recess.  "I was THAT hungry, mom!"  So I asked her what she ate for lunch.  She replies, "well, I got to go into Mrs. S's gluten-free cupboard to pick something to eat, since I HAD NOTHING LEFT."

Wow.  Well.  That's embarrassing.  Mrs. S, I SWEAR I feed my kids!!  I do!!

Fast forward a couple of hours, when the kids need to go to my mom's so I can run down to the radio station to get a little work done.  When Shawn gets there to pick them up, Mackenzie, all big blue innocent eyes and sweet little curls, turns to the biggest sucker in the room (that would be Grandma) and says, "Oh, Grandma, please, PLEASE can I stay for dinner?  I just can't handle another night of cereal!"

Really, kid?  REALLY?

Shawn took them home.  And no, he didn't give them cereal.

They had sandwiches.

No comments:

Post a Comment