Sunday, April 1, 2012

Can't wait to show her an 8-track.

We love music.

Love it, love it, love it.

All kinds, all genres, all decades - all of it.

Our music collection is enormous.  When we moved in together 9 (!) years ago, we probably had over 1000 CD's between the two of us.  Our collection is now on our computer, obviously, and I'm pretty sure that if the house was ever on fire, Shawn would risk coming back inside to save it.  Our kids have also inherited our love of music; they both have their own iPods, and I am thankful that we never had to listen to those stupid kids' CD's - they've preferred "real" music from the get-go, and we've always encouraged it.  We don't censor much - they can listen to what they want, but we do find radio edits for the really bad ones (Cee Lo and Travie McCoy come to mind!)  We've had to answer a few questions about certain song lyrics (my favorite being Zac Brown Band, "Toes" - the lyric is "I'm gonna lay in the hot sun, and roll a big fat one..." well, of course they had to know what that I told them that it means to roll a big fat guy down the beach.  They accepted that as an explanation.  Yes.  I lie to my kids.  Don't judge.)

Anyhow, I digress.  Hey, I warned you I'd ramble.  Don't act surprised.

While I do love all kinds of music, country is my number 1.  I have been a huge country music fan for as long as I can remember.  I even got the chance to go to Nashville with my dad a few years ago for the Country Radio Seminar, and it was absolutely, far and away, the best four days of my entire life.  I always feel bad saying that, because my husband didn't come with me, so the greatest four days of my entire life did not include him.  That said, if I ever had the chance to go back again, and he couldn't come?  Well, I'd ditch him in a minute just to be able to experience it again.  (Sorry, honey.  Truth hurts.)

Tonight, the 47th Academy of Country Music Awards were on TV.  My daughter Mackenzie decided a few months ago that unless it was Taylor Swift, all country music needed to be removed from her iPod right away.  Broke my heart into a million pieces, but I obliged.  Tonight, though, I convinced her to watch the show with me - she likes awards shows, and the lure of brightly lit, loud performances and fancy glittery clothes was enough to entice her.  While we were watching Miranda Lambert accept the award for best album, our conversation went like this:

Mackenzie: "What song did she have to sing, to win that award?"

Me: "No song in particular, the whole album had to be good."

Mackenzie: "  OK."

Me: "The album, Mackenzie.  The whole thing had to be good to win that prize.  Better than anyone else's album."

Mackenzie: "Uh-huh.  Sure, Mom."

At this point, she's looking at me like I am clearly an idiot and have no idea what I'm talking about, and it finally occurs to me.


I had to EXPLAIN to my kid what an ALBUM is.

Holy crap.

Is that sad, or what?!


Now, I need to put my two cents in here about the awards show.  I'm sorry, I have to.  I'll keep it brief.

-I hate the Band Perry.  HATE.  That stupid "If I Die Young" song is the dumbest song ever.  They performed with Keith Urban when my friend J and I went to see him in September, and they did a cover of  "Teenage Dream", and it was screeching and awful.  I wanted to rip my own ears off so that a) I didn't have to listen to it anymore, and b) so I'd have something to throw at them.  Cannot.  Stand.  Them.

-Eric Church just rocks my world.  I love that man.  I don't love his favorite pastime of smoking pot, or his need to wear sunglasses indoors, ALL THE TIME, but man, his music is just the best.  Download his latest album, "Chief".  Learn it.  Love it.  He's amazing.  Now, go back and get the rest of his albums too.  There.  I just made your life better.  No need to thank me.

-How hot is Carrie Underwood?  I might have a girl crush.

-Toby Keith's performance of "Red Solo Cup" was the best of the night.  It was just so casual and fun, and he just seems like the kind of arrogant dude who knows he's awesome and if you don't agree, well, he'll just tell you to suck it and that'll be that.  That said, I am certain he feels like a bloody fool every time he performs that song.  It's fun, it's catchy, but let's call a spade a spade here - it's ridiculous.  (Side note, my friend C has a super low tolerance for country music, and the fact that she's currently almost 9 months pregnant makes her tolerance pretty much non-existent.  She had the pleasure of hearing "Red Solo Cup" for the first time ever just a couple of weeks ago, and the string of texts I got when she heard it went something like, "Does Toby Keith really do a song about a PARTY CUP???  HOW is this a song????  This is the stupidest song EVER.  Is this a JOKE??  Seriously??  Does he ACTUALLY sing this song?  It's STUPID."  I'm paraphrasing here, but you get the idea.  I blame the pregnancy.)


And to finish off the longest post ever, here are some great lines from Mackenzie during the show.

-(after the camera panned to an older woman wearing a sparkly top): "Well, I think that's just a little too much glitter for a GRANDMA."

-(to Dierks Bentley): "Oh, THANK YOU, for finally cutting your hair!!"

-(about the many male artists with their big belt buckles): "I think it would look a lot better if they put their shirts OVER TOP OF their belts."

-(about Zac Brown's weird skull-cap thing): "I hate that hat." (Brad Paisley then comes on stage wearing the same hat.) "Oh!  Well it looks a lot better on HIM!"

-(about host Reba McEntire): "I hope she knows, we can see her boobs."

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